Jen Stayrook

And that’s why you can’t have a divorce

My husband and I are a very “joke-heavy” couple. If not for all the laughing, we’d probably strangle each other. We’re lucky we have a similar sense of humor. Rather, he’s lucky I’ve beaten a similar sense of humor into him. 

This morning was just an average conversation for us: 

Hubs: Okay, I’ve got my purple shirt for Spirit Day and my pink shoelaces for Breast Cancer Awareness month. It’s a good thing I’m secure in my marriage. 

Me: *cough* Cover up. *cough* Hon, they already think you’re gay. You TOLD them your wedding ring was from your BOYFRIEND. This isn’t going to surprise them. 

Hubs: What are you going to do when one of these days I actually DO come out of the closet? 

Me: I’d be happy for you. But I’ll tell you what I’m not going to do. 

Hubs: ….?

Me: Give you a divorce.

Hubs: WHAT? What if I’m in LOVE? You’re going to deny me my happiness? 

Me: Let’s face it, we’ve got a good thing going. I’m comfortable. I don’t plan on showing off these bad boys until my 30’s when I go crazy from suburbia overload. Get used to having me around. Now, I have to leave for work. 

Hubs: I’ll bring the divorce papers to you at the office. 

Me: Okay, but make sure you make a big show of it. It’s not worth it unless you overact it. 

Hubs: And I’ll get all dressed up and make out with your gay coworker. 

Me: He’s cute! But he’s not going to touch you dressed like that.

Hubs: I can get dressed up! Shirt, tie, nice shoes. 

Me: Eh…don’t forget the hair. You’ve got a long way to go before you learn all about gay etiquette. 

Hubs: Yea, yea.

Me: LOVE YOU! Bring home someone cute!

He loves me. 

Comments are closed.