In less than a week I turn 25.
Ancient, I know. All of the “exciting” birthdays to look forward to have passed and now I have my son by which to gauge the passing of time. Laugh all you want, but I’ve already forgotten several times over the past few months how old I am. I’m still convinced it’s only 22, maybe 23.
Ah, it starts.
(You’re damn right this is a blog post about age.)
When I pictured my life at 18, this is nothing what I imagined. Married at 21? A kid at 24? A still undecided career path? (That is, until all those big time agents and publishers come to their senses and offer me a big, fat six figure deal for my fabulous prose and dashing good looks.)
28. That’s how old I said I would be before even considering marriage. Kids? I didn’t want them. I was too afraid of morphing into the alcoholic, abusive assholes that are my parents. Interestingly enough, I only went to college to get AWAY from my parents. As a Junior in HS, I never thought college was an option for someone like me. Then that jerk Joe came along and swept me off my feet and made me believe in myself (after a year or so of constant bickering and nasty insults). I’ve traveled overseas and now live an entire country’s length away from my birthplace. None of this was planned. In fact, our whole journey west was planned in under a month.
I wanted a big important career with so much money I could make my own swimming pool of caviar BECAUSE I CAN. Then I decided Political Science and Art History were lucrative career choices (and then went on to work in the tech field, because well, those aren’t even CLOSE). Then I had a kid and all that shit went out the window.
So maybe my pool will have to be filled with Top Ramen instead of caviar. And MAYBE it’ll be salty enough you can just float on top of the noodles. And maybe it’ll be beef flavor because FUCK I hate that flavor and I’m not wasting the good stuff on this pool adventure.
What about you? What in your life hasn’t turned out the way you planned? Has it turned out for the better? (I’m enjoying this noodle idea and the kid is WAY cute—like a puppy on steroids.)
Also—my birthday is on Monday. I EXPECT TO BE SHOWERED WITH GIFTS.
Now if you’ll excuse me, the husband and I need to return to our water balloon fight with Jell-O filled balloons.